Konoha's Weirdest
by shadoweddrm
Summary: -remake of Dragon of Konoha- I haven't fully decided what the summary should be, so I guess you'll just have to read and find out what it's about... rated T for possible violence, slight romance in later chapters, and language
1. Beginnings and Other Such Hassles

Konoha's Weirdest

Konoha's Weirdest

Chapter One: Beginnings and Other Such _Hassles_

_Okay…well, I'm restarting it…WOOHOO!!A FRESH START!! Now to not mess up…oops… okay, okay, back to the story!!_

_**Disclaimer: **__I do not own the Naruto characters! I own Kiki, yes- me, the psychopathic author! (I'm not psychopathic…I think…)_

Thunder roared as the rain pelted the windows. Outside, a violent wind whipped through the trees. A woman stood on her roof as the lightning grew near. Hands outstretched to the sky, she laughed as the static ripped through her hair, which coiled around the blanketing electricity. Then all was as it had been. The wind howled, the rain poured from the sky, and the woman receded to her home.

Two pairs of golden, catlike eyes stared across the landscape. He knew what the large burst of lightning was, and a sadistic smile spread across his face. _Another event for another time, _he thought before he stalked through the streets, searching for a certain purple haired ninja.

_She ran as fast as she could, her lungs burning from their lack of air. She looked behind her, causing her to trip on a fallen tree branch and tumble through the tree roots. The horse's hooves began to pass over her crumpled body, and she was still, trying to appear as though she was unconscious. Suddenly a gloved hand gripped tendrils of her hair and pulled her along through the brush, causing her to cry out as she was whipped by the greenery. The hand threw her against a tree, while the other hand grabbed her left thigh, a searing heat causing her vision to go red, while the smell of burning flesh filled the forest._

Her eyes flew open, and she brought herself into a sitting position. Her hands gripped her head as she placed her head against her knees. Her thigh burned, but she expected that since she had just had the dream about the scar's origin. Kiki looked around to find her blanket, which she had thrown off in her dreams during the night. She picked it up from off of the floor and set her bed to rights, grabbing a robe from her closet. Kiki walked downstairs to the kitchen and set a pot of water on the stove to boil.

Grabbing the pantry door, she rummaged trough the contents. _I REALLY have to do some shopping! _Sighing, she closed the pantry and raided her herb shelf, searching for mint and catnip. _At least I have tea to get me ready for training._

Five minutes later, she had downed the cups of tea, and her frayed nerves were on the mend. She went upstairs and walked into her closet, looking for something red. When she came out, she was adorned in a short sleeved red blouse, with flowing black pants which stopped just below her knees, and practical black shoes which stopped just below her ankles. Hair was wrapped in a golden ribbon which started at the bottom of her shoulders and ended two inches below her waist.

Grabbing her twin blades, Kiki walked over to her window and opened it, jumping out and closing the window behind her. She jumped off of her roof and ran through Konoha, buckling her swords to the gold wire belt that was positioned on her hips. She jumped up onto a stairwell and walked along a hallway of apartments. It was still early, but se knew that the person she was looking for would be awake.

Kiki knocked crisply on the door, and after a few minutes, a crash, and a string of swearing, a blonde boy fumbled the door open. Her eyebrows were raised slightly in sarcastic inquiry, and he waved it off, stepping aside to let her in the door. She walked in and immediately saw what had made the sound. The table was toppled over, and the bowl of ramen that had been on it was spilled on the floor, the liquid steaming as it soaked into the floor.

Sighing, she pulled the liquid from the floorboards and bent it into the sink. She sighed again, "Naruto, you're such a klutz."

Naruto walked out of the other room and looked at her, rubbing the back of his head. A goofy smile was plastered on his face.

She just did and exasperated sigh and a light head slap. _Leave it to Naruto to look just like him. He doesn't even know it, but he looks just like __otou__-san. _She shook her head lightly in her hand and looked up, rubbing her face, "Okay Naruto, Kakashi must be waiting for you. Don't be late."

The blonde nodded and looked at her blankly for a moment. He came over and pressed his hands onto her shoulders, "Okay nee-chan, could you _please _just tell me what's troubling you? You're making it so obvious that Itachi could notice it a mile away."

She flinched lightly at the mention of Itachi's name, and Naruto regretted saying that little part of the sentence. She looked at him, "Yeah…about that… I had a very bad dream last night, so I'm not really myself yet. Anyway, you'd better head out for your training before you're later than Kakashi!" Kiki spun around and was about to walk out of the room.

"Kiki, if you ever need a favor, just ask. After all, you don't look too well today."

She nodded and walked out of the door, whispering, "Thanks nii-san." She sat down on a bench a few blocks away and rested her head in her hands. She needed to cool her head, and she knew just how to do so. She walked over to the hot springs and walked inside. The steam soothed her thoughts, and she breathed the steam into her lungs, releasing it before stepping back out of the hot springs again. Kiki walked down the barely lit road, heading towards the gates of town for her daily training. She sighed again, before looking up and noticing that Naruto was looking down from the top of the roof at her.

She smiled broadly and waved at him, but he didn't seem too happy. Kiki snickered and started to walk on when she noticed what he was staring so intently at. _Here we go, AGAIN. _She stalked off, knowing (somewhat) what Naruto's scheme was. The gates loomed above her as she waved to the shinobi guarding the gate as she walked through. The road was still dark, the streets the only things lit in the village. She quickly jumped into the trees and took off, alighting from tree to tree as she went. The storm was about to break, and she wanted to be at her vantage point when the lightning started.

The static in the sky was foreboding. Not many people would be training in this kind of weather, but she reveled in it. Kiki never noticed being followed, but there was someone behind her. He stayed well inside of the shadows, following her untraceably. He knew that she could lead him to the person who he was looking for, but until then he would be a silent shadow.

Finally, she ended up on the top of a cliff, and looked up to the sky. From this vantage point, she could see the entirety of Konoha, and she smiled, closing her eyes and facing the canyon, arms outstretched. Feeling eyes looking at her, she turned to see a shadow in the trees.

A mischievous smirk spread across her face, and she turned back around, the wind howling through her hair. _Note to self: cut the hair ASAP. It's not worth it! _The trees rustled, the storm was so close that she could feel the static electricity in every bone in her body. Her face turned upwards to the sky, and she let out a blood-curdling battle cry.

The clouds gathered static energy, and the lightning shattered the sky, ramming into Kiki, whose arms were outstretched to the sky. In an instant, the lightning was gone, and she sat down upon the rock of the cliff. Rain started to blow on the wind, and her eyes closed, her torso leaning back to rest against the rock behind her.

When her body didn't reach the rock, her eyes opened to look at what she had run into. Strands of black hair fell onto her face from the person who was behind her, and she looked curiously into the shadow of the person's face.

A smile split said person's face, "Hello, Kiki-chan."

Her eyes grew wide in shock, and she froze. She felt a genjutsu starting to grip her, and tried to keep it away from her. Against all of her struggles, the edges of her vision started to fade. Her head fell back against the person, and everything went black.

Naruto watched from the trees, Sasuke beside him, as the person picked up an unconscious Kiki and turned to face them. They felt the persons eyes on them, and when they saw his gaze, their eyes grew wide. They toppled to the ground, and the person smirked as he stalked off.

"Ojii-san!" Naruto burst into the hokage's office, Sasuke at his heels. Kakashi turned around to look at the two genin, and Sarutobi looked at them, his eyes slightly wide. Naruto looked at them, and he was worried, "She's gone. The lightning struck, she sat down, and there was a person behind her. It looked like she was surprised at who she saw there, because she froze. She NEVER freezes up. When she passed out, the person picked her up, and he looked at us. Everything went black, and when we woke up, they were gone!"

"Naruto, you need to be a little more specific,"

"Kiki…he took…Onee-chan." Naruto looked down and collapsed to his knees. Sasuke was already sitting down, and Naruto started swearing, pounding the floor with his fist. Sasuke looked at Naruto, and his face showed nothing.

Sarutobi stood and motioned to Kakashi, "Get Anko and Sakura. We need to find her before Naruto loses it."

_That's chapter one…. Please tell me what you think!_


	2. The Dragon Chased the Weasel

The Dragon Chased the Weasel

_**A/N: **__Yeah…it's called Konoha's weirdest, but that's really based on later chapters…(you'll find out why later) Anyway, please enjoy the next chapter in the story! _

_**Disclaimer: **__I do NOT own Naruto or the characters besides Kiki_

Thunder cracked, releasing the genjutsu that had gripped her. Eyes fluttering open, she gasped when she saw the person who had cast the jutsu. He looked down at her when he heard her gasp, and she squirmed in his grip. She looked at him, eyes wide, and tried to move her arms.

"Don't make me cast the jutsu again, Kiki-chan."

"Does it look like I care whether you cast it again or not?!"

He smirked evilly, and she gulped when she looked into his eyes, "Yes, it does look like you care." He laughed as she shivered lightly.

"So what do you want?"

He looked at her and arched his eyebrows sarcastically. She crossed her arms and stared at him, releasing all of her frustration into the gaze. He just smiled at this, and they were frozen like that for several seconds.

"I hate you, why do you always have to be more stubborn than me?!" she shouted at him, "Do you know how annoying that gets?!"

"Yep…"

"Do you care? Nope…"

"Do you know how annoying THAT is? YES!"

It was Kiki's turn to smirk, "I hate how well you know me!"

"I hate how much you're flirting!"

She looked at him, her eyes wide. "I'm…flirting?"

If he could have done a head slap, he would have, "Yes, Kiki-chan, you are flirting. Do you want a freaking COOKIE?"

She put a finger on her chin and looked to be pondering the idea, "What kind of cookie?"

He looked at her, embarrassed, "There is no cookie, Kiki." He stopped walking at the entrance to a cave, and handed Kiki to a man dressed in similar garb. The man smiled cruelly, and she returned the evil smile. He looked at his partner, "So why did you hand her to me…Itachi?"

"My arms hurt. She may be lighter than she used to be, but she's still heavy."

"I resent that!" Kiki yelled, reaching out to punch him brutally on the top of his head. "That's why I hate you Weasel-san!"

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

She rolled her eyes at him and looked over at his partner, "And you are…?"

"Kisame."

She looked back at Itachi and sighed. "If Kisame wasn't here, I'd beat the living daylights out of you!"

"Go right ahead and beat the crap out of him, be my guest!" Kisame smiled.

At this, Kiki grinned, causing Itachi to flinch and back up ever-so-slightly. Her grin widened, and she looked up at Kisame, "What kind of weapon, and could you kindly put me down?"

Allowing her feet to reach the ground before letting her go, he thought for a second, "Well, it depends upon what type of weapon you prefer and how much damage you wish to inflict." Kisame grinned, and grabbed Samehada from his back, allowing the blade edge to rest upon the ground. Immediately distracted, Kiki began looking at Samehada;s blade and hilt, inspecting as much of the blade as she could see before looking at Kisame with pleading eyes.

"May I look and see what the blade is made of?" she asked, curiously looking up. He grinned and unwrapped a portion of the bindings from the blade, and she lifted it carefully in one hand.

"I wouldn't do that-" he was cut off as Samehada reacted, and Kiki dropped the blades, caressing the grazed flesh of her palm. "I tried to warn you, the blade shaves off flesh on contact."

Kiki shrugged, "Oh well…I learn from experiences most times." She looked down at the palm, and smiled at the remnants of a scar beginning to fade, "You know, sometimes I adore healing magic, but then again…" she cut her eyes to her side and glared at Itachi, "that's not always the case."

"What was the glare supposed to be for?!" Itachi growled, glaring back at her.

She grinned mischievously and chimed, "No reason."

"Then what the-" he stopped when she raised her eyebrows at him, daring him to give her a reason to beat him into a bloody pulp.

The staring contest lasted for a few minutes before Kiki growled and threw something at him, "Dammit Itachi! Why do you have to be so freaking stubborn?!" She threw her arms up into the air in aggravation and began to stalk off, Kisame grabbing her by the shoulder before she could leave.

"You know, it would be better if you didn't try to make your exit. Itachi and I wouldn't appreciate that."

She rolled her eyes, "The only reason that I would believe for Itachi wanting me here would be so that he can torture me! If you're like him, then I can just IMAGINE what would happen if I would stay here!" She brushed his hand from her shoulder and began to walk away, but found herself to be incapable of moving her entire body. "Okay, what's going on?!" Kiki yelped, feeling defenseless, a feeling which, if by any means necessary, she tried to avoid.

"Don't worry, that's just Sasori." A blonde laughed, stepping out of the shadows to face the slightly scared-though she refused to admit it- and agitated kunoichi. He grinned and walked over to Itachi, whispering in his ear, "So who's the bitchy lady you've dragged in this time?"

Looking pissed, she turned her head and screamed, "WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!"

He turned red, "You weren't supposed to hear that…"

"NEXT TIME-" a hand was clapped over her mouth to keep her from screaming at the blonde more, and she turned her eyes to glare at the new person in view, only to realize that chakra strings laced from his fingers, controlling her. She superheated his hand, which caused him to withdraw it almost immediately. "Holy SHIT! How many friends do you HAVE Weasel-san?!"

Itachi knew just the right way to make Kiki tick, and did so by grinning widely, "The blonde over here," he nodded his head towards him, "is Deidara, and the redhead behind you is Sasori." Sasori grinned widely and raised the hand that held the chakra strings.

"Just so long as you don't do anything inappropriate, puppet boy, I won't have to tear your limbs from your body." Kiki warned, breaking loose of the chakra threads using a burst of magic as a skin to remove them from her body. Turning around, she looked at Sasori and squealed, hugging him, "YOU'RE TOO CUTE!!"

Deidara began laughing uncontrollably, Itachi snickered, and Kisame couldn't breathe, he was laughing so hard. Sasori had one of those looks that screamed 'save me' as Kiki hugged him, "Will you get off of me now?!" (**A/N: **yeah, he's not in his puppet for once…I think I'll make it due to repairs needed)

She looked at him and turned red, stepping back immediately, "Sorry… I guess I got a little carried away." Sasori rolled his eyes and glared at the other three, causing them to flinch away.

"Just WHAT is so funny?"

As the argument commenced, Kiki waited for the perfect moment, padding off silently, careful to make sure that none of the four bickering Akatsuki members took notice. Looking in front of her, she shrieked as a clay bird squawked at her before exploding, allowing her barely enough time to create a barrier. When the explosion ended, she looked back to be faced with four angry shinobi. "Shit."

_I hope that you liked this chapter, and I think that you're finally getting why it's rated T…(language). Anyway, please R&R, to tell me if you think that I should continue this, or if I should return to my old version. I would deeply appreciate it, and I hope that you enjoyed the second installment of what I hope will possibly be my new big project._

_Now then, a poll; for those of you who have read All of His Teachings, I hope that you read this… should I graft that story into this, or should I just keep it the way that it is now? I greatly appreciate and welcome any ideas, and love to hear everything (except FLAMES) that you are willing to dish out! I would also like any opinions on suggested pairings…since I hope for this to be a sort of romance later on, so pick a character, any character!_

_Since I feel like it, I'll add a quiz, the prize for being the first person to answer being a ficlet related to Naruto (I might allow another manga/anime as long as I know what it is…if you are the winner, just pm me with a request) of any rating with any theme. So here it is (and Onee-chan, Lunaverserocks, and Zuzu-you know who you are- cannot submit an entry): who stated "We must be the change we wish to see," which was later used in the song, "See Who I Am" by Within Temptation?_


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